It’s a typical weeknight–pick up the kids from school, stop by the local grocery store for a pickup order, drop off the oldest so she can do her chosen activity while we run around with the others to their activities. Then, put it all in reverse and pick them all up. When we get home, we like to think we can finally relax–but no. There’s showers to be had, dinner to be set, homework to be done and teeth to be brushed. At the end of the day, when we can finally relax, we reassure ourselves by saying “it’s for the kids.” But is it really? Is there such a thing as too many extracurriculars?
I believe it’s important to strike a balance between extracurricular activities and family time. We as parents believe that extracurricular activities help our children mature, grow, and develop into well-rounded human beings. While this is true, and extracurriculars can be great for kids, there must be a balance or we may be sacrificing something equally important–social and emotional health.
Benefits of Extracurriculars
It is undeniable that extracurricular activities have a multitude of benefits for children. They learn valuable social/emotional skills like teamwork and cooperation, and grow stronger physically and mentally. Extracurricular activities promote self-regulation and organization skills, as well as interpersonal skills (and sometimes humility). All of these are useful life skills, and very important for children to develop.
Drawbacks of Too Many Extracurriculars
While extracurriculars carry wonderful benefits for children, just like anything else, overindulgence can lead to drawbacks as well. It seems some parents feel like the more their children can be involved in, the more they will benefit. This however, can be faulty reasoning. There is a point of diminishing returns. When children feel over-pressured and over-booked, this leads to stress that can have a negative impact on their health, both physically and emotionally.
Stress and Irritability
The pressure of being rushed off in different directions and to perform in multiple activities can really put a strain on children. If you think you feel stressed by all the running around, imagine how the kids feel by being rushed around and also being expected to perform in various activities. The pressure can be enough to make them feel stressed and irritable. If your children are involved in too much, you may notice a change in their attitude. They may show symptoms of chronic stress such as racing thoughts, forgetfulness, disorganization, irritability, and depression. They may talk back more than usual, and they may become more impatient as they feel they are always “in a hurry.”
Poor nutrition
For most working parents, a busy night leaves no time to prepare a healthy family dinner. What becomes the convenient solution? Too often, it is all too tempting to pick up fast food or takeout, as there is no time to cook. At the very best, we resign ourselves to frozen processed food made in the microwave or air-fryer. We all know how a consistent diet of processed and fast food can be bad for children (and adults). Multiple studies have proven that a fast-food diet can lead to obesity and irritability (once again) in children.
Poor Family Connections
When children spend most of their time at activities and in the car coming and going to activities, it leaves very little time for quality time with family. Stress-induced irritability means that communication lines can also go down. This leads to strained relationships with family. Often, after a week of being in constant motion, children do not want to do anything on the weekend except maybe sleep and recuperate from their stressful week. This means that spending time doing things as a family becomes a task for them instead of a leisure activity, and children do not get the opportunity to bond as a family. This compounds the stress and irritability problem, and causes a spiral effect.
Performance Anxiety
Children who are engaged in too many extracurriculars may feel like they aren’t particularly good at any of them–mostly because they are spread too thin. They don’t get to develop skills on a deeper level, so their skills stay on a surface-level instead. This may cause frustration and anxiety for some children. They may begin to feel frustrated that they aren’t able to advance in skill. Over time, this may lead to performance anxiety, where if they do not experience success they choose to shut down and quit rather than continue to struggle.
Poor Sleep Habits
When children don’t arrive at home until late at night, they still have home responsibilities such as home chores and hygiene tasks that they must do before going to bed. If they have homework, that can push the bedtime even later. This means children likely aren’t getting as much sleep as they need. If children are dealing with chronic stress symptoms, they may have an even tougher time falling asleep. Lack of sleep in children can lead to multiple health and emotional issues, including irritability (do you notice a theme?). It can even cause difficulty with memory, learning, and concentration at school.
So How Many Is Too Many Extracurriculars?
There is no easy answer to this question. In the end, it depends on the child. One child may feel perfectly okay doing multiple after-school activities, whereas another may feel that one is too much. With some activities that are particularly time consuming, such as theatre and sports, only one may be enough or too much for your child.
You have to take a big step back and look at the overall picture. If there isn’t a balance, if there isn’t enough time for your child to feel fully rested, enjoy family time, and meet nutritional needs, then maybe you should reconsider how much you are signing them up for.
“But They Want To…”
It’s true, your child may enjoy multiple activities and want to be involved in all of them. However, it is unwise to do them all at the same time. If you ask your child if they want to do this, and that, and that, they may say yes! However, it is our responsibility as parents to make sure that children make good decisions, and this includes decisions about time management. Children do not understand that doing all of their favorite things at once may lead to stress for them later down the road. They tend to live in the moment, and to them, the idea of doing all of those fabulous things sounds thrilling. Just like with other enjoyable things, it is up to the parents to help them understand that they need to limit themselves to stay healthy. It may not be popular with your child, but it is important to enforce boundaries regarding time management.
Remember, Family Is Everything
If you find that your family time is taking a hit, consider making it more of a priority to make time for it. There is nothing that will make your child into a more well-rounded adult than having a great relationship with his/her family. Find creative ways to do fun things together, communicate, and enjoy each other’s company. Remember, they don’t stay children forever. Cherish this time together, don’t squander it.
What Are Your Thoughts? Leave a Comment!
How much is too much for your family? Do you have any ideas that might help families who find themselves caught in the dilemma of doing too much? Leave a comment and let us know!
